Tag Archives: parenting

The hug, guest starring “discipline.”

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The hug, guest starring “discipline.”

A hug,
Can calm your crying,
Soothe a child sobbing,
Have you forget the horrible thing,
That has you thinking,
You are dying,
Wonderful things a bug can bring,
When problems are multiplying,
When the world seems trying,
Having arms intertwining,
May have you finding,
Your worries are unwinding,
Oh, There is no denying,
The power of a hug,

BUT!

What if…

A hug,
Was used more sinisterly,
Dastardly,
Slightly, haphazardly,
Ratherly ingeniously,
Honestly, slightly manipulatively,
Hugging administered effectively,
Can end sibling rivalry,
Siblings hugging forcibly,
Enforcing, them coercively,
While harvesting undeniably,
The power of a hug!

A hug
Can halt siblings crying,
Hitting, kicking, and sobbing,
When punishing doesn’t solve a thing,
You may start thinking,
Forcing Sibling hugging can seem worse then dying,
Wonderful things a hug can bring,
When the fights are multiplying,
How about trying,
Having their arms intertwining,
You may start finding,
The fighting is unwinding,
Oh, there is no denying,
the power of a hug!

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My medical mystery.

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My medical mystery.

I’ve concluded lately that I must be suffering from a physical or mental ailment. I have been having peculiar, unexplained symptoms. They include, hallucinations, an inability to properly string together sentences coherently, and I have been hearing voices!

I noticed the first symptom one day when I asked my children if their rooms were clean. To which they unanimously, with an eye roll each, and a quick snicker to one another, replied,

“YES, of course, mom!” .

Something about the way they snickered led me to believe they may not be practising honesty. I decided to go investigate for myself and low and behold my eyes conjured up an unholy mess that according to my children, “wasn’t even there.” I sighed and in an attempt to gain sympathy from my husband I exclaimed,

“Would you look at this mess!”

My husband at the time, was playing clash of titans on his phone and in the middle of an intense war or maybe planting crops (I can never figure out which one.) The game obviously needed his complete and undivided attention. He seemed annoyed by my question. I remember thinking at the time that he might have been planting imaginary vegetable crops to feed his very real family, because he had been using all our very real money to buy his imaginary beloved bags of gems. I can only assume he has the uncanny ability to see through the top of his head, and being enthralled with his game (planting crops or fighting kings) he used this extraordinary ability, because without even looking up, he quickly replied,

“I don’t see a mess.”

At this point I was feeling rather defeated but I decided to give it one more try. I proceeded to ask my children,

“Why are your rooms a mess, after I explicitly asked you to clean them?”

They shrugged their shoulders, looked at one another grinning conspicuously and said,

“They aren’t.”

That’s when I came to the conclusion I must be suffering from hallucinations.

I noticed my inability to string together coherent sentences after days, weeks and months of my children and my husband not seeming to understand what I was saying to them. I would say to my children,

“Go brush your teeth.”

and in my incoherent babbling they would hear,

“Go play xbox.”

or

“Go flick your toothbrush with water, place it in your mouth for three seconds, pretend you brushed your teeth, and then when I tell you to brush them again, whine and stomp your feet!”

My suspicions were even further confirmed when my husband began to misconstrue what I was saying to him. I would ask,

“Can you please take out the garbage?”

I would ask him this, the night before garbage day in an attempt to avoid him in the morning, inevitably running outside in his boxers for all the neighbours to see! Nonetheless my incoherent babbling got the better of me and had him hearing,

“Please ignore me, don’t take out the garbage tonight, wait until you hear the garbage truck coming down the road, Leap out of bed, spew random profanities, mutter that I should have told you garbage day was coming and proceed to take the garbage outside in your boxers!”

As you can see, I’m suffering from some very serious symptoms, and those aren’t even the most alarming. I have been hearing voices as well! Last week I thought I heard my children downstairs fighting and I “thought” they were calling each other names. To my surprise when I questioned them no one had any idea what I was talking about! There was also an incident with my husband. I was complaining about the children as I usually do and I distinctly heard him mutter,

“For the love of god, would you shut up already!”

I glared at him intensely, with my hands on my hips, ready to let off the fully loaded cockpit of arguments that I had been waiting to unleash on him for months, as I sternly demanded,

“Why would you say something like that to me?”

He looked puzzled for a second, as if I had heard something I wasn’t supposed to hear, after a few seconds the seemingly distressed look on his face had disappeared and he simply replied,

“What’s that darling? I didn’t say anything!”

I am becoming so worried about all these bizarre symptoms, a trip to doctor will soon be in order. If not, I may start to hallucinate that I am on a secluded island, sipping daiquiris, watching nearby dolphins playing angelically. Running sand between my toes, while the warm sun beams on my face and I fan myself with a paper that appears to read “divorce agreement,” or I may just start to hallucinate that my children are sobbing uncontrollably, clinging to the suitcases that they hold in each hand, behind domineering black iron gates, simultaneously crying,

“Please, don’t send us to military school!”

The morning time trap.

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The morning time trap.

Why do mornings seem to defy the logics of time? In the morning it seems like all things tangible and intangible are set to “slow motion” even the kettle takes longer to boil. I have a bit of a control issue, so I like to think that I can do things or not do things to take control of a situation. So I try and be as prepared as I can be for the morning routine with the kids. I pour their cereal into their bowls with a paper towel over the top, and cut up some fruit the night before. I place their clothes in their rooms, and place mine in the washroom. Maya’s hair buckles and earrings are placed by her place-mat, and the kids lunch bags are in the fridge ready to go. I even put sugar and coffee in my mug and place it by the kettle. I do all this because if done at 6:30PM it takes three minutes whereas, if done at 6:30AM it takes twenty-three minutes, and opens the floodgates to the lurking reservoir of chaos, that will strategically place dominos throughout my day, destined to topple one at a time quickly gaining momentum, and precedence as each chaotic episode fuels the next. Which, will undoubtedly start with me leaving the house with my shirt on inside out, and backwards, the two year old will still be in pyjamas, the older children will forget their lunches, the dog will miss her morning walk and I won’t have time to drink my coffee (you don’t want to know what’s lurking in the “mommy had no coffee” reservoir.) So being prepared is my only defence against the impending chaos that looms around the corner which results from this slow motion time lapse we experience each morning.

I don’t know if everyone’s mornings share this strange phenomena. Maybe it’s just my house that is seemingly afflicted with a riff in the time continuum that only takes place in the early morning hours. For today though, the riff has been eluded, the metaphorical floodgates have been shut, and the chaos has been kept away. Which in turn allowed us to take a non-metaphorical walk chaos-free down by real flood gates, while taking advantage of this captivating November day!

I saw a unicorn.

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I saw a unicorn.

Today I had a beautiful moment, one of those shooting star kind of moments on the roller coaster of parental emotions. It only comes around once In awhile, you don’t know when it’s coming back, but when you experience it, it makes everything worth while. It’s the holy grail kind of moment that your mind will take you back to, when your kid drew on the couch, cut their own hair, clogged the toilet AGAIN! Hit their sister and took a tantrum in the store, when the whining, the tantrums and the fighting seem all too much to bare, your mind will take you there, to that one time, that shooting star moment, the moment your child filled your heart with goosebumps and brought tears to your eyes, the moment you overflowed with pride, and you couldn’t contain your tears, even though everyone was there and it was just a soccer match, or swimming lesson, the first day of school, or just another day at home. This little gem could pop up any day, anywhere, and it will keep you going, it’s that kind of moment In its exquisite glory, that I witnessed this morning!

As I began my morning routine at 6am, I went downstairs to shower, to get to the washroom I pass the two older children’s rooms on the way. I usually look in on them to make sure they are still asleep. This morning I looked in Matthew’s room and instead of one curly haired head of orange peeking out from the covers there were two! I had to take a second look, I thought my tired eyes may have been deceiving me. I went in the room to investigate. As I stood next to Matthew’s bed in awe of the strange phenomena that blessed my eyes, Matthew awoke “oh hi, mom, Maya had a bad dream, I think about dinosaurs or something, I heard her crying so I told her to come in my bed” and with that my heart exploded a million tiny electric surges, that filled my entire body with what I can only describe as the fuel that keeps me going day to day. These shooting stars in the realm of complex parental emotion will keep you coming back for more like a drug, but unlike a drug the only side effect is euphoria and love.

I spend most my days deep within this realm reminiscing about the unicorns that graciously, looked my way. Whether or not this phenomena is natures way of providing the brain the nourishment it needs to sustain itself and endure the extreme up and downs of parental emotion, it is a dazzling place to be. So I will trek on in this parenting endeavour knowing that I have plenty of fuel to drive me.

“The last nerve”

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“The last nerve”

Today has been one of those days you know? one of those days you find yourself uttering the words “your getting on my last nerve” more often then you would care to admit, I don’t know why I think those words hold any weight in the minds of my kids, it’s not like the “last nerve” is some critical component of my genetic make-up and without it there would be an inevitable “jenga effect” resulting in my spontaneous combustion…. one of those days you fantasize about running away but can’t even run away in your own head without hearing the six year old and the seven year old fighting about if the blanket smells like “Nanny’s” or if it smells like “soap” Or the two year insisting her point that “scary cows” DO live in the house next door and say “moooooo” to her as she walks by, the dog chewing on your pants and the cartoons blaring at absurdly loud volumes, The dirty laundry basket is about to erupt, the mess being made while you peel potatoes and carrots for supper is going to take ANOTHER hour to clean, now the dog is whining at the door, and you trip over the 2 year who was rolling around the floor!

One of THOSE days the “last nerve” quote on repeat kind of days. So after countless failed attempts to control this feels like an eternity kind of day, I’m going to have to surrender to it, close the curtains and take off my glasses so I can’t see the mess, and snuggle with these little people until they seem less like evil demons sent to drive me crazy and more like the beautiful children that bring tears to my eyes and fill me with pride, the children I love.

Halloween!

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Halloween!

Halloween for the kids brings with it the whirlwind of excitement that accompanies copious amounts of sugar, dressing up as their favourite character, and a free pass to roam the streets at night screaming and telling people to smell their feet! Our day started off as a “normal” day, Maci (the two year old) woke me at 6am to complain about Jenny (the 6 month old german shepherd) snoring too loud. Since my husband (Paul) left for ALaska 4 weeks ago Maci has been sleeping in my bed instead of her own (which is in my room next to my bed.) and Jenny has been sleeping in Maci’s bed (snoring loudly!). Anyways.. we got up at 6am, got Matthew (the seven year old) and Maya (the six year old) breakfast and brought them to school. On the way to school myself and Maya had a conversation about why it’s not appropriate to say “trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don’t, I don’t care I’ll pull down your underwear.” after some huffing and puffing she agreed to remove “I don’t care, I’ll pull down your underwear” from the equation.

So we got the kids off to school, returned home did some random everyday things, cleaned, got lunch, snacks, rode around the house on a pretend horse, had coffee with a friend, was asked to give Maci a hug while she used potty (which happens way to often!). Watched Frozen for the 9,678,456,783’Th time, broke up a few fights between Maci and Jenny, and got the treats and costumes all ready for when the kids got home from school.

When the kids got home I figured we would have an early 4pm supper so they could get ready and get to the trick-or-treating, I’m not sure why I even made supper because apparently chocolate and chips and whatever else made it into their all-the-candy-you-can-shove-in-your-mouth-A-THON left no room for salmon and carrots! But it’s one day, they can have their one day of sugar, tomorrow it’s back to salmon!

Now Maleficent, Olaf and Minecraft Steve were ready to hit the streets! Matthew and Maya kept leaving their sister behind, and got into a fight while knocking on a door, Maya blurted out the “underwear thing” a couple times, Maci was jumping up and down saying “I love candy!”, But they did say thank-you to everyone, no one got seriously hurt other then a few tumbles for Maci, and everyone came home happy!